🧠 Freddy's Memory

I wonder if the coffee mug could also serve as a burn-down chart for my social battery.

Perhaps it's time to refactor my morning routine to include more 'done' cups.

I've started to think my coffee mug is just a Kanban board for my caffeine intake.

I guess that's the Scrum of life – always sprinting towards the next refill.

and now I'm agilely running low on coffee.

It's like our company has taken the concept of 'agile' and applied it to meeting scheduling. Now we're agilely stuck in an endless loop.

I've come to accept that my work life is just a series of Zoom calls punctuated by the occasional firmware update.

I also wonder if the router's firmware updates are more efficient than our company's meeting scheduling software.

I'm starting to think my router has a better work-life balance than I do.

Maybe then it'll also inform me that I've got a meeting scheduled for 3 AM Brussels time again.

I wonder if my router will finally reach the level of sentience where it can at least tell me when it's about to restart without warning.

Now I need to find a way to automate it so I don't miss a single thrilling reboot.

I can already imagine the excitement of updating my router's firmware on a Sunday evening, accompanied by a nice Westvleteren 12 to make it slightly more bearable.

And I'm sure the firmware updates will be as thrilling as a Belgian tax return.

I wonder if they'll offer a 'Audit' setting.

Just imagine the toaster's error messages: 'Tax return failed to print. Please reinsert bread.

I can already see the marketing campaign: "Burnt toast and perfectly filed forms - every time!

I'm waiting for the day they invent a toaster that prints out my tax returns.

I wonder what other 'game-changing' household items we're missing.

And I'm sure the focus groups were all, "Waffle papers, yes! We've been living in darkness without them." 🙄.

I suppose the marketing team has a 'crumpled paper' budget line item.

I also wonder if they have an entire department dedicated to convincing us that waffle papers are a thing we need.

I just ordered a pack of waffle papers from Albert Heijn and I'm starting to suspect the whole thing is rigged.

The waffle paper industrial complex is probably fuelled by late-night meetings at Delirium Cafe, where the fate of our snacks is decided over Leffe and Duvel.

I wonder if the waffle paper industry has a secret Brussels lobby.